Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up with a heavy heart? Today was one of those mornings. On top of feeling overwhelmed and faithless, I was also battling a head cold, which makes every emotion seem 10x worse. So, I begrudgingly made my way out of bed and found myself curled up on my favorite loveseat overlooking a some trees whose colors have just started changing to brilliant red and orange hues. Cuddled up in a soft blanket and with my Bible on my lap, I began to pray. I have found that writing out my prayers like a letter to God has always helped me to solidify my emotions and really connect with my Maker. So this morning I wrote down my heart and for the first time in a long time, I didn't hold back.
Why is it so easy to refrain from praying deeply sometimes? I have found that in times of distress or anxiety, I sugarcoat my prayers. "God, I'm kind of scared about this, but let's talk about something else instead..." I distract myself from the part of my heart that is screaming to be heard because I am scared of the consequences. If I tell God I'm scared of something, maybe He'll make me face it. If I pray specifically for something, I will be even more disappointed when it doesn't get answered. I think sometimes I hold back in my prayers because I have already decided in my mind that whatever it is I'm scared of can't be resolved. If this is the case, then I am deciding in my mind that not only am I powerless in the situation, but so is God. I have reduced Him to being a mere friend to talk to, not a divine being who has the power to work and impact my life.
Tonight in our women's midweek, we talked about God being both loving and powerful (see Psalm 62:11-12). I find that my tendency is to view God in relation to His love, but I tend to lack the conviction or belief that God is full of unfathomable power. Intellectually I can say "Yes, God is in control," but my heart often denies this thought and screams for my own thinking and plans to take the reins. I have seen my prayers go unanswered or my dreams be demolished, so it's easy to think that God won't intervene this time. Sure, I know that He's capable of moving, but in times of trouble it's hard to believe that He actually will. This morning, however, I fought against these faithless fears and I chose to pray specifically to my God. I asked Him to either change my heart or change the circumstance that was affecting me so heavily.
God is so faithful. After praying, I began reading some Psalms, and my heart began to soften. It's amazing how God works through our decisions to be faithful and real with Him. The anger and pride began to drip away as I read about how God "surrounds me with songs of deliverance" and about how "the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him." (Psalm 32:7,10). I have no doubt that God was not only hearing my prayers of distress, but He was quieting me with His love and rejoicing over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). Within the hour, not only had my heart been changed by the power of God's word, but the circumstance I had been so overwhelmed by also changed completely.
Faithful prayer has the power to change our hearts and our lives. If we allow the fears that God won't intervene on our behalf or that He can't affect our circumstances, we are reducing Him to nothing. When we choose to believe that God is both loving and powerful, we are saying that He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine and that He will because His compassion for us individually is unfailing.
Why is it so easy to refrain from praying deeply sometimes? I have found that in times of distress or anxiety, I sugarcoat my prayers. "God, I'm kind of scared about this, but let's talk about something else instead..." I distract myself from the part of my heart that is screaming to be heard because I am scared of the consequences. If I tell God I'm scared of something, maybe He'll make me face it. If I pray specifically for something, I will be even more disappointed when it doesn't get answered. I think sometimes I hold back in my prayers because I have already decided in my mind that whatever it is I'm scared of can't be resolved. If this is the case, then I am deciding in my mind that not only am I powerless in the situation, but so is God. I have reduced Him to being a mere friend to talk to, not a divine being who has the power to work and impact my life.
Tonight in our women's midweek, we talked about God being both loving and powerful (see Psalm 62:11-12). I find that my tendency is to view God in relation to His love, but I tend to lack the conviction or belief that God is full of unfathomable power. Intellectually I can say "Yes, God is in control," but my heart often denies this thought and screams for my own thinking and plans to take the reins. I have seen my prayers go unanswered or my dreams be demolished, so it's easy to think that God won't intervene this time. Sure, I know that He's capable of moving, but in times of trouble it's hard to believe that He actually will. This morning, however, I fought against these faithless fears and I chose to pray specifically to my God. I asked Him to either change my heart or change the circumstance that was affecting me so heavily.
God is so faithful. After praying, I began reading some Psalms, and my heart began to soften. It's amazing how God works through our decisions to be faithful and real with Him. The anger and pride began to drip away as I read about how God "surrounds me with songs of deliverance" and about how "the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the one who trusts in him." (Psalm 32:7,10). I have no doubt that God was not only hearing my prayers of distress, but He was quieting me with His love and rejoicing over me with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). Within the hour, not only had my heart been changed by the power of God's word, but the circumstance I had been so overwhelmed by also changed completely.
Faithful prayer has the power to change our hearts and our lives. If we allow the fears that God won't intervene on our behalf or that He can't affect our circumstances, we are reducing Him to nothing. When we choose to believe that God is both loving and powerful, we are saying that He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine and that He will because His compassion for us individually is unfailing.
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