Hey there, blog world. It's been a while. I have been contemplating starting a blog again and tonight just seemed like as good a night as ever to re-start Something New.
Only a few new things have happened in the past 3 years...just kidding. Let's just call this time in my life transition central. Good transitions, wonderful transitions even. But change is hard, regardless of the beautiful implications they may have.
Have you ever been there? New job, new life stage, new house, new friends? All at once? Beautiful, wonderful transitions. This is where I am right now. I just moved into a condo a year and a half ago with more space than I have ever had to myself with an amazing husband to whom I have only been married to for a year and a half! I moved across the state and started a new job. I love my life, but stress is not far from me at all times. I have suddenly become someone who stresses out about dishes being left in the sink, the laminator at work not being hot enough quickly enough. I clean when I am stressed and avoid cleaning when I am stressed (somehow simultaneously). Yet these are just the surface issues. Inside, I have realized that I am afraid of messing up, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of growing up. Just yesterday I was waiting on my parents to bring me my mac and cheese and tuck me into bed. Now I am making the mac and cheese, checking to see if the milk has gone bad, cleaning the pots as quickly as possible before I lose motivation, etc...
I wish I could say that I have been able to draw closer than ever to God during this time of transition. This is what my Christian life seems to always be preparing me for. The Godly people in my life have always told me that hard times are when I need to cling to God the hardest. God himself has been whispering this truth to me for the past year and a half,, and yet here I am, knowing the peace I desperately need from Him and yet allowing myself to be swamped in the change instead of embracing all of the deep, intimate experiences I could be having with my God right now if I only stopped and allowed myself to be still. Be still. I wish I could write it on a Post-It note and stick it to my forehead so I could stare at it all day long. Seriously, I need it. I have taken up yoga over the past few years and I (sometimes fruitlessly) try to find moments of quiet. Even in these moments where stillness seems more attainable, I need the constant reminder. Why is it so hard to still and quiet my soul? I could make excuses: I'm a mult-tasker, I'm a teacher, I'm thinking about good things I need to get done, I don't have time for this.
I don't have time for this. I don't have time for God. I don't have time to spend time with my Lord. I don't have time to read and learn and meditate on the words that will one day judge me. Wow. What a modern day Martha I am. While Mary sits at the feet of Jesus, clinging to his every precious word, I am in the kitchen cleaning (have I mentioned how much I stress about cleaning?) or doing laundry, or running around doing errands, or trying to get ahead on my teaching plans, or just sitting in front of the TV trying to drone out the sounds of Jesus' voice from the other room. (The full story of Martha and Mary is in Luke 10:38-42).
It hasn’t all been loud stress and giving God the silent treatment while refusing to be silent myself. In addition to truly loving and enjoying my life and the blessings I have been given, I also have had wonderful and raw moments with God. The most fulfilling change I made was getting back to being devoted to God’s Word. At some point I realized that in the midst of my messy, chaotic life, I was keeping the noise level way up by spending pointless periods of time on my phone. Social media has a sneaky way of making me feel like I needed to compare myself to my friends, or try the cutest Pinterest home decor trend, or shop online for something I truly do not need. All these things just add to the chaos, while making me feel like I don’t have time for God. So I devoted myself to a one year Bible challenge on my Bible app, and it actually worked. I knew I was already on my phone often enough anyway, so I decided to use that time for something more spiritually fulfilling and way more satisfying. I was not perfect- at times during the year I had missed days on end- but I persevered. And God is so good. His Word is so rich with His love that I couldn’t help but feel more peaceful and restful. I chose to be more like Mary and sit at Jesus’ feet for a year, and my heart can attest to the fact that I am more refreshed as a result. I have found that my attitude towards my job has be renewed during this time and my attitude towards my to-do list has even been adjusted!
But my busy, anxious Martha heart has not disappeared completely. My year of reading of God’s 66 love letters to me is over, but I have a ways to go in my prayer life and in working to calm the anxiety that often overwhelmed and entangles me. I am eager to continue to let God change me and refresh me, and maybe I’ll even pick up where I left off here and share these new discoveries with you all.
Thanks for reading! 💕✌🏻☕️
Only a few new things have happened in the past 3 years...just kidding. Let's just call this time in my life transition central. Good transitions, wonderful transitions even. But change is hard, regardless of the beautiful implications they may have.
Have you ever been there? New job, new life stage, new house, new friends? All at once? Beautiful, wonderful transitions. This is where I am right now. I just moved into a condo a year and a half ago with more space than I have ever had to myself with an amazing husband to whom I have only been married to for a year and a half! I moved across the state and started a new job. I love my life, but stress is not far from me at all times. I have suddenly become someone who stresses out about dishes being left in the sink, the laminator at work not being hot enough quickly enough. I clean when I am stressed and avoid cleaning when I am stressed (somehow simultaneously). Yet these are just the surface issues. Inside, I have realized that I am afraid of messing up, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of growing up. Just yesterday I was waiting on my parents to bring me my mac and cheese and tuck me into bed. Now I am making the mac and cheese, checking to see if the milk has gone bad, cleaning the pots as quickly as possible before I lose motivation, etc...
I wish I could say that I have been able to draw closer than ever to God during this time of transition. This is what my Christian life seems to always be preparing me for. The Godly people in my life have always told me that hard times are when I need to cling to God the hardest. God himself has been whispering this truth to me for the past year and a half,, and yet here I am, knowing the peace I desperately need from Him and yet allowing myself to be swamped in the change instead of embracing all of the deep, intimate experiences I could be having with my God right now if I only stopped and allowed myself to be still. Be still. I wish I could write it on a Post-It note and stick it to my forehead so I could stare at it all day long. Seriously, I need it. I have taken up yoga over the past few years and I (sometimes fruitlessly) try to find moments of quiet. Even in these moments where stillness seems more attainable, I need the constant reminder. Why is it so hard to still and quiet my soul? I could make excuses: I'm a mult-tasker, I'm a teacher, I'm thinking about good things I need to get done, I don't have time for this.
I don't have time for this. I don't have time for God. I don't have time to spend time with my Lord. I don't have time to read and learn and meditate on the words that will one day judge me. Wow. What a modern day Martha I am. While Mary sits at the feet of Jesus, clinging to his every precious word, I am in the kitchen cleaning (have I mentioned how much I stress about cleaning?) or doing laundry, or running around doing errands, or trying to get ahead on my teaching plans, or just sitting in front of the TV trying to drone out the sounds of Jesus' voice from the other room. (The full story of Martha and Mary is in Luke 10:38-42).
It hasn’t all been loud stress and giving God the silent treatment while refusing to be silent myself. In addition to truly loving and enjoying my life and the blessings I have been given, I also have had wonderful and raw moments with God. The most fulfilling change I made was getting back to being devoted to God’s Word. At some point I realized that in the midst of my messy, chaotic life, I was keeping the noise level way up by spending pointless periods of time on my phone. Social media has a sneaky way of making me feel like I needed to compare myself to my friends, or try the cutest Pinterest home decor trend, or shop online for something I truly do not need. All these things just add to the chaos, while making me feel like I don’t have time for God. So I devoted myself to a one year Bible challenge on my Bible app, and it actually worked. I knew I was already on my phone often enough anyway, so I decided to use that time for something more spiritually fulfilling and way more satisfying. I was not perfect- at times during the year I had missed days on end- but I persevered. And God is so good. His Word is so rich with His love that I couldn’t help but feel more peaceful and restful. I chose to be more like Mary and sit at Jesus’ feet for a year, and my heart can attest to the fact that I am more refreshed as a result. I have found that my attitude towards my job has be renewed during this time and my attitude towards my to-do list has even been adjusted!
But my busy, anxious Martha heart has not disappeared completely. My year of reading of God’s 66 love letters to me is over, but I have a ways to go in my prayer life and in working to calm the anxiety that often overwhelmed and entangles me. I am eager to continue to let God change me and refresh me, and maybe I’ll even pick up where I left off here and share these new discoveries with you all.
Thanks for reading! 💕✌🏻☕️
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